Posts Tagged ‘Random’

Ugh

Hi guys–sorry I haven’t posted! Between a whirlwind trip and back to New Jersey, finishing up the quarter for my exegetical methods class, and feeling sick as a dog, I’ve had a hard time blogging.¬† Things are poised to calm down in the next week or so, and I’m hoping to go back to daily postings.

For now, I wanted to share with you the progress of our little chickadees. Is it strange to anyone else that they are self-segregating?

Advertisements

It’s Official

Papers have been signed, funding has been recorded. We are the official owners of a little homestead in the country.

Not surprisingly, I have become fairly sick. I have done pretty well this year handling stress, but I think this experience might have brought about one day too many of anxiety. So, with a couple of major projects due next week, I am bundling up and battling it out. Only a week until my quarter is officially over, and then I can focus on the house!

On a positive note, Rob and I are already making friends here. We’ve even been invited to a Christmas party. Time and time again, we are being affirmed that this was the right decision. I feel so blessed.

Now, back to working on schoolwork and nursing my poor sore throat ūüė¶

PS…It’s supposed to have the potential for freezing rain and snow flurries for about 10 days starting on Monday…I’ll have my first taste of non-LA weather, that’s for sure! Thank goodness for my new super-warm coat!

Someone Else’s Life

Yesterday I happened to be in the neighborhood of the school where I used to teach first grade. I was walking to a local pharmacy, and as I walked by the school, I looked into the school yard. Some class was just walking back from the computer lab. Girls in little jumpers were skipping, boys were hopping–it was all they could do to contain their energy in those small bursts.¬†Their teacher was giving them “the look” to keep them quiet through the transition. Ahh, a morning at school, a half hour before recess. It was all too familiar–and yet, I realized, it was someone else’s life.

It’s strange sometimes to travel the windy road of memory. I know I traveled the path, but it somehow looks different when I look back from the other direction.

I suppose this is what it feels like in the middle of one’s adulthood. The¬†experience of¬†college seems so important and yet¬†my¬†concerns from that period so irrelevant (of course, it didn’t feel that way at the time!).¬† They are someone else’s concerns now.¬† Likewise, my time teaching feels like yesterday and a billion years ago all mashed into one. My past, someone else’s present. Perhaps seminary will feel that way too, someday.

Recognizing my life in someone else’s and someone else’s life in mine is part of what connects us all. Out of our experiences come compassion, empathy, understanding. All of this is accompanied by bittersweet nostalgia, relief, yearning, and hope.¬† Just another way to connect.

The unknown path

These days are full of joy and uncertainty. As the nightfall arrives earlier and the air begins to cool, we sit at the kitchen table each evening for dinner and the talk inevitably turns to the future. It’s exciting and scary in a new way; in the past our anticipation centered around the wedding (in the early days), or a new job, or starting school. Now the talk centers around having children, buying a house, moving to a new town, and above all, our shared vocation. We know we’ve been placed on this journey together for a reason. It feels like we’re beginning to understand that reason a little more clearly.

Discernment is a lesson that I continually learn. What is from God? What is sourced in my own will? Am I trying to force the issue? Am I scared of what God really wants me to do? Do I even know what God wants me to do? Do I have enough faith?

It takes patience and trust to properly discern such heavy issues. Sometimes the answers don’t come for months. Sometimes they don’t come in the way I expect. So discernment of God’s desire is important, because if I was left to my own devices, I would craft for everything to happen now and under my terms. Of course, this would inevitably lead to disaster.

It’s a good thing God’s in charge.

In the meantime, I have to settle for the tension of uncertainty. Like the autumn days, there is inevitability in the air. “But not yet,” the night’s breeze whispers, “Not yet.” We continue to try to discern to the best of our ability, and I try to remain patient in the unknowing.

Thank goodness¬†we’re in good hands.

The Wrath of Creation

Rob and I spent a weekend in retreat, but we couldn’t escape the major news of the area: a fire that, at this point, has consumed over 85,000 acres. Here’s the Saturday evening view from my parents’ house, about thirty miles from the closest point (to them) of the fire:

IMG_5127

Apparently this fire is so strong that, despite calm winds, it is creating its own weather system. The radio just announced that 21 homes have been burned thus far and 2 firefighters have died as a result of the blaze.

Wildfires happen every year in Southern California, and many of them¬†destroy homes (both human and wildlife)¬†that are part of outlying mountain communities.¬†¬†Ironically, they spin out of control because we work so hard to try to control them; we prevent the natural cycle of small-area burning that would have been common to this area before we decided to so densely populate the area.¬† Consequently, we end up having these “superfires” that wouldn’t have happened if the normal burn cycle had prepared the earth to resist such devastation.

It’s another reminder to us Southern Californians that, despite our best efforts, we still aren’t the most powerful force on earth. Earth is.

Patience and Time

Patience and Time. These seem to be important messages in my life lately, but it became a very physical, very unavoidable message yesterday.

I don’t know how I did it, but I did it. A sudden, excruciating pain in my lower neck which made it difficult to look up, down, right or left suddenly overtook me as I was researching for an article I am writing. I still have very little tolerance for sitting in front of the computer, so forgive me if the post is short.

The neck pain left me unable to do much else other than lie on an ice pack, read, and pray. I did that all day yesterday, interspersed with some phone calls. It brought me back to my knee surgery recovery, when I could do little else than look at the ceiling all day and try not to move.

If there was ever a day I wish we had TV in the house…!

But I think it was an important lesson for me. Because the neck pain wasn’t some terrible injury or illness. It was most likely a strain or sprain, an inflammation that simply needs patience and time to heal.

Patience and time. A difficult thing when the body and mind are whirling with ideas and dreams.

But it called me back to the present. It made me conscious of where I was, today, here, now. I couldn’t live in any other time or any other reality. Tomorrow would have worries of its own. For today, I had my assignment: hurry up and wait.

I suppose, though, it’s all¬†a matter of perspective. If I see this time as waiting for something to come (in this case, getting mobile again), then I will live in anxiety and constantly feel called away from the moment. I won’t appreciate the opportunities that now has to offer me. I won’t enjoy the fact that I rarely have a day where I can spend time reading for enjoyment instead of research, where I am not busy cleaning and cooking and laundering, where my prayers are contemplative, meandering conversations with the Creator. So maybe¬†my assignment isn’t really to hurry up and wait.

Maybe it’s¬†slow down¬†and be.

One of Those Days

IMG_4961

Sometimes only a picture can truly convey how one feels on a particular day.  Our kitty Easter has helped me in expressing myself today through this wondeful depiction of my current emotions.